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(cheers and applause) >> jon: i'm sorry. >> this is isn't even mine. >> jon: hi no idea, law. i had no idea, dodd frank, that you have been through some of. >> you don't know what you're talking about. you haven't seen the things i've seen. >> jon: i know. >> ♪ i'm just a law ♪ but my ass [bleep] and my balls put through a circular saw ♪ ♪ and every one ♪ who swore up and down to support me ♪ ♪ now they walk ♪ late term abort me ♪ last night i got hit by a car ♪ ♪ it's gone too far ♪ for this law ♪ did you i mention my ass was at [bleep] ♪ so, what are we going to do with this? i don't know. the usual? [ blower whirring ] sometimes it pays to switch things up. my - what, my hair? no. car insurance. i switched to progressive and they gave me discounts for the time i spent with my old company. saved a bunch. that's a reason to switch. big savings -- it's a good look for you. [ blower whirring ] [blower stops] the safety was off. out there with a better way. now, that's progressive. >> jon: welcome back to the show. earlier tonight we saw how the dodd
(cheers and applause) >> jon: i'm sorry. >> this is isn't even mine. >> jon: hi no idea, law. i had no idea, dodd frank, that you have been through some of. >> you don't know what you're talking about. you haven't seen the things i've seen. >> jon: i know. >> ♪ i'm just a law ♪ but my ass [bleep] and my balls put through a circular saw ♪ ♪ and every one ♪ who swore up and down to support me ♪ ♪ now they walk ♪ late term abort me ♪ last night...
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Jul 29, 2011
07/11
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is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the house urged republicans to unite behind boehner's plan by showing this clip from the movie "the town" >> the town? (laughter) "the town", no rudy-- "rudy" "brian song" or "300" or "rocky" or "rocky 2" or "rocky 3" or really any of the "rockies" you went with the boston bank rubbers in nun costumes clip. >> well, there is going to be good. (laughter) let's see the clip-- (cheers and applause) >> that the republicans used, let's see the clip that the republicans used to urge their hard line tea party freshman coalition to drop their ob
is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the...
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Jul 13, 2011
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[laughter] >> jon: really? >> i don't make the rules, jon. jon >> jon: look. if even that guy raised taxes, doesn't that at least challenge the current republican belief system? >> cynics like you are always looking for doctrinal contradictions. >> jon: the rich now have way more wealth and income even since the 80s. republicans think tax cuts raise revenue, why not cut taxes to zero. >> jon, let me tell you parable. a holy man was in the desert and the multitudes came and said, we have no food. he said, here are five loaves and two fishes and so it was that the holy man and one of his friends sat down and ate a [bleeped] load of fish sandwiches. [laughter] >> jon: what about... [applause] what about the multitudes? >> what about 'em? are you suggesting that socialist redistribution of fish and bread? why punish the most successful fisherman? >> jon: look, i don't thi i understand this parable's message. how do the multitudes eat? >> that's not the holy man's problem. am i my brother's keeper? >> jon: that's a biblical saying. cain said that when he's trying t
[laughter] >> jon: really? >> i don't make the rules, jon. jon >> jon: look. if even that guy raised taxes, doesn't that at least challenge the current republican belief system? >> cynics like you are always looking for doctrinal contradictions. >> jon: the rich now have way more wealth and income even since the 80s. republicans think tax cuts raise revenue, why not cut taxes to zero. >> jon, let me tell you parable. a holy man was in the desert and the...
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Jul 15, 2011
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sir. >> jon: and it was a raid. is that unusual to be on a day raid like that? >> for us it is unusual. >> jon: you're an army ranger. >> yeah, we don't normally do daylight raids, but the necessity to get out there and get this high value target and the time of day, we had to act on it. >> jon: in the beginning of it, you are wounded early on in the fight? >> yes, shot through both thighs. i actually didn't realize it until i got to the medics later, but i thought i was just shot in the left leg. it had stuck in there or something. i didn't feel it go all the way through both legs. so i was running around doing things for a little bit. [laughter] i know that sounds odd. >> jon: i could stop you there. and be very proud of your service and all you did. so in this... now, you are really a veteran in this group. you have been to afghanistan. this was your sixth tour. and you had two tours in iraq. >> actually, it was my fifth tour. i've been back since. >> jon: you've been back to afghanistan for another tour since yo
sir. >> jon: and it was a raid. is that unusual to be on a day raid like that? >> for us it is unusual. >> jon: you're an army ranger. >> yeah, we don't normally do daylight raids, but the necessity to get out there and get this high value target and the time of day, we had to act on it. >> jon: in the beginning of it, you are wounded early on in the fight? >> yes, shot through both thighs. i actually didn't realize it until i got to the medics later, but i...
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>> jon: the anti-romney. he's a handsome mormon ex-governor with perceived softness on social issues. ( laughter ) he's not the anti-romney. he's the candidate for people who would vote for romney but are concerned romney has too much name recognition. ( laughter ) come on, people! give me somebody truly different. >> i personally think michele bachman, your colleague, is going to be a real challenger to mitt romney. >> jon: there you go, michele bachman. she couldn't be more different. he's a man. she's a lady. he's tall. she's short. he looks directly into the camera. she looks just to the right of it. ( laughter ) her campaign got off to a running start when she declared her candidacy in her birth place of waterloo, iowa. >> what i want them to know is just like john wayne was from woortly, iowa, that's the spirit i have, too. >> it looks like she got her john waynes confused. john wayne lived about 150 miles away from waterloo. john wayne gacy, who raped and killed 33 men and boys did live in waterloo bef
>> jon: the anti-romney. he's a handsome mormon ex-governor with perceived softness on social issues. ( laughter ) he's not the anti-romney. he's the candidate for people who would vote for romney but are concerned romney has too much name recognition. ( laughter ) come on, people! give me somebody truly different. >> i personally think michele bachman, your colleague, is going to be a real challenger to mitt romney. >> jon: there you go, michele bachman. she couldn't be more...